Starting to feel a bit more comfortable with the idea of being married and being someone's wife. I still get weirded out when people call me "Mrs. Lee"... although everyone who has been calling me "Mrs. Lee" (you know who you are!) are just doing that to tease and see my reaction. "Mrs. Lee" hasn't been sitting well with me just yet.... makes me sound so old and wifey and domesticated and mommy-like... an image that I am still squirming about and adamantly against. I'm sure by next year I'll be more comfortable with my new name, as well as my new identity. Speaking of new names, I've been starting the long haul process of changing my name... I started off with Social Security Adminstration (standing in long lines), and my next stop will be the DMV (more long lines), and then my passport. THEN I have to individually contact credit card groups, banks, schools, and whoever else I have an account with. Now isn't that all very lovely and convenient. *sigh*
Now that Wayne and I have been back from our honeymoon, and have been "setting up house" since then... Wayne's been off to work, and I'm playing housewife.. with a long to-do list, and plenty of alone time to contemplate where things are at and how I'm doing with everything. I've heard of the post-wedding blues, but they haven't really affected me TOO much... Although I DO have to admit that I am a little bit sad that the wedding is over... just because it was a very magical day for both Wayne and myself... we certainly felt and saw the love and support by those who love us and care for us deeply... and that was very important to us.
The anxiety that is now sitting in, is about my relationships with my friends now that my single status has changed. Will my single friends see me differently? Will they treat me differently? Will we still be approachable to others, or will friends distance themselves from us? Will I be able to relate to my friends (and vice versa) in the same way again? A recently married friend told me that when she was first married, it was a very isolating and lonely time after that... and Pastor Alan has advised us that after the wedding, we need to take more initiative to maintain and deepen our existing relationships and friendships.... a piece of advice that I'm determined to take up. But even though I'm worried about that, it hasn't been too much of a problem so far... in this huge house, Wayne and I totally welcome friends and out-ot-town visitors to visit and stay over... and several friends have already taken us up on it already, and its been terrific. The house doesn't seem so empty sometimes :) We miss our friends, and hope that many of you will come to visit us and say hello! :)
Posted by Ruth at 7/05/2002
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