Ruth's Ramblings

The Self-Cross and the process of transformation

Dying to myself is always oh-so hard... my only hope is the internal transformation of my heart and my being (the difficult process of conforming to His will). From the inside out, as everyone says. And dying to myself and my will means learning humility all over again in this "winter season" in my heart:

The Blessedness of Winter
As winter approaches each year, I like to watch our large maple in the backyard begin to lose its covering of summer green and take on a funeral brown. As the leaves drop, one by one all of the irregularities and defects of the tree are exposed. The imperfections are always there, of course, but they have been hidden from my view by an emerald blanket. Now, however, it is denuded and desolate, and I can see its real condition.

Winter preserves and strengthens a tree. Rather than expending strength on the exterior surface, its sap is forced deeper and deeper into its interior depth. In winter a tougher, more resilient life is firmly established. Winter is necessary for the tree to survive and flourish.

Instantly you see the application. So often we hide our true condition with the surface virtues of pious activity, but, once the leaves of our frantic pace drop away, the transforming power of a wintry spirituality can have effect.

To the outward eye everything looks barren and unsightly. Our many defects, flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections stand out in bold relief. But only the outward virtues have collapsed; the principle of virtue is actually being strengthened. The soul is venturing forth into the interior. Real, solid, enduring virtues begin to develop deep within. Pure love is being birthed.

Excerpt from Richard Foster, Prayer: Finding Heart's True Home (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1992), p. 65-66.

Posted by Ruth at 12/15/2003