Ruth's Ramblings

Self-Protection

This past couple weeks have been silently frustrating for me. My diet is off, my quiet times are off, my house cleaning is off, my schedule is off, ministry/direction is unstable and unclear, EVERYTHING feels thrown off. And being the perfectionistic procrastinator that I am, once everything is off and I'm not quite sure where I'm going, I get frustrated and overwelmed and I can't function normally like I would like to.

But something this past weekend drew me back to Larry Crabb's Inside Out book, and I've been skimming it. I love skimming books that I've already read, because I process the material a whole lot better (and I get to re-read all the original markings/margin notes I've made with a fresh perspective). And guess what I found (The answer to my question on whether self-protection is a sin or not)...

"The sin of self-protection to which I refer occurs when our legitimate thirst for receiving love creates a demand not to be hurt that overrides a commitment to lovingly involve ourselves with others. When that demand for self-protection interferes with our willingness to move towards others with their well-being in view, then the law of love is violated." (Larry Crabb, Inside Out, pp. 127).

Of course I have to re-read this book again. I'm at a different place, with different life experiences than when I first encountered these words. I've also purchased myself another journal (I never did find my other one). I tried to function without my journal and realized that I can't. Especially when everything is "off" like this lately, I'm needing some sort of tangible medium to keep me going with God.

The next week or so we'll be out-of-town (again). Armed with my journal, Larry Crabb, and some knitting, I'm off to "get away" and find my soul again.

Posted by Ruth at 8/07/2005