Ruth's Ramblings

Journalling vs. Blogging

I've been journalling ever since I was in junior high... a youth counselor at a retreat suggested it to me, and through journalling, I cultivated my personal relationship with God. It was my way of communicating my prayers to God -- they included all the things I did that day; all the people I encountered; all my feelings, frustrations, dreams, heartaches, and all the stuff from the innermost part of your heart. I write about my learning experiences, the stuff of life that makes you hurt yet grow. To this day, I still journal. It's fascinating to look back at previous years and see what I've written in the past just how much I've grown and changed.

Blogging, on the other hand, is something different. There is a social aspect of it because it IS on the world wide web (sometimes I forget I have an audience out there) and the issue of privacy is very limited. I used to blog the same way I journalled, and with the increased traffic to this site, I panicked, because I wasn't sure who was really reading my page, even with my sitemeter (not everyone identifies themselves to me as readers; but I'm pretty sure 90% of them are people I know personally). I switched my purpose of blogging into a tool to keep in touch with long-distance friends, and even keeping in touch with friends within town. With AIM, ICQ, Yahoo Msgr, MSN and all those chatting modules (yes, I admit, I have all of them), the online world gets bigger and closer together. Yes, I am an online junkie. =P

Somewhere along the way, the lines between journalling and blogging got blurred, and a year ago, I decided to separate the two. (My own personal journal was suffering because of my growing attention to my blog.) It's a bit scary to realize that you may not know everyone who is reading the innermost thoughts of your blog, and privacy is very important to me. I also started realizing that my online presence may start hindering my physical one-on-one relationships with individuals. The beauty of a handwritten letter or a phone call or even a lunch date to catch up are almost passe for me. Isn't that sad? =(

Anyways, reading a blog doesn't make a relationship grow or change in any particular direction (unless you get feedback and start a dialogue perhaps). People can read intimate details of what you post, but that is in no way a representative of what encompasses entirely YOU (I think people forget that alot - I myself forget that too when I browse other people's blogs). A false sense of intimacy on one end is a bit intimidating for me. So if you really want to KIT with me and know what's going on with me (and vice versa), my blog certainly is not the way to go. (which means, you can IM me, email me, or better yet, call me) =)

Posted by Ruth at 6/13/2004