Maybe this is the naiive side of me coming out, but I am realizing that I have a strong distaste for personalities that aren't honest and tend to mask their motivations from others. I guess I always assumed most people are forthcoming with themselves, and if they aren't, at least they don't cover it up and try to fool others with a fake face. It takes alot of energy for me to NOT take people at face value - assuming that what ever they say, is what they mean, but then there are others that you have to go past how they come across and dig deeper into what they really mean or what they are trying to hide. That takes too much effort on my part to try to read (what I refer to as) dishonest and "shady" characters. So I just stay away, lest I become manipulated (I'm an easy pawn, if I'm not watching carefully). And I *hate* being taken advantage of. I was thinking of some individuals and wondering why I have such an adversion to them, and perhaps trying to understand where they are coming from. Maybe that's just part of their personality? Or maybe they have significant trust issues that don't allow them to honestly open up to people? Or maybe they just have incredibly low self-esteems and don't like to make themselves vulnerable to others lest they get rejected? Wayne says I have this strong dislike for these personalities because they remind me of my dad. Which, I suppose, is partly true. His personality is quite shady as well. His outside demeanor and behavior towards others is never the same as his inside thoughts and motivations. Maybe that's why I get so disgusted with people like that. People with hidden agendas.... so shady. Anyways, some random thoughts of mine today. =P
Posted by Ruth at 5/20/2003
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