Ruth's Ramblings

Ministry wake-up call (again)

I was going through my Experiencing God workbook and was pretty much punched in the gut (by God, of course) by a couple things I read. I think I'm pretty new at this ministry thing - learning how to sense God's leading while still growing on my own accord, learning to discern what things to give up to God and which things to take charge of. But the most basic thing of all that I need to learn (above all else) is that the work that I do doesn't belong to me; it belongs to God.

Obvious right? Well, tell that to my heart. For some frustrating reason, my attitude is stubborn and I keep operating from the mindset that this is MY program, MY agenda, MY doing. Dangerous? Of course! I am totally taking ownership of ministries around me, pompously thinking that without my wisdom and human strength it'll all fall apart unless I have something to do with it! ARGH! I am so ashamed at this attitude (I'm even more ashamed to admit it so openly on my blog - but I figured the best accountabilty I can get is to be open about it)! I figure if God's going to use me for something great in His Kingdom, He has to start with square one. Lesson #1: God is doing a work around me. Lesson #2: Through my relationship with Him, He's the one inviting me to participate in His work. Lesson #3: Watch, wait, obey (and all the while, sensing His leading, going back to my relationship with Him in everything).

Letting go of control and ownership is hard. How do I do it? (Asking for more faith.) Boy, do I have alot of growing to do or what...

Posted by Ruth at 6/23/2004