Ruth's Ramblings

Processing

I still have alot more to go, and Hubby and I are taking the time to pray and see what opportunities come next year. I'm realizing that from this trip, I am still processing unresolved/unreconciled things coming from my last trip (China) back in 2000. At the time (fall 2000) I had just come back from China, I also had just moved to Sacramento, and just started my social work masters program. I think the stress of moving and finding a new community and battling conflicting dogma coming from my masters program really compounded my last China experience. I battled depression on and off, dealt with a difficult situation of getting married and losing my relationship with my parents, and the things I was encountering in the social work program caused me to question (even shatter) alot of my former beliefs and ideas I had gained from my upbringing. All these things really muddled and increased all the different things I was already trying to sort through in my head and heart from my post-China experience. Looking back, I can really see Satan trying to attack and grab a foothold in my life, but I can also see God, in His sovereignty, using those situations/opportunities to grow me and bring me closer to Him.

And now that I'm back from Nepal, I'm faced with the same issues/things to think about and process through - it's as if God has brought my heart and mind back to August/Sept 2000, the time I just came back from my last trip to China. The difference is, I'm 4 years older, and a different person today (alot has happened in my life in the past 4 years). I can sense that things are just beginning to come full circle... and as I continue to earnestly seek God, He is continuing to answer my heart's desire in knowing Him and experiencing Him more fully.

As for the future, I sense that our time in Nepal is not finished. Our last days there, as we were preparing to return to the States, I sensed that I was not ready to come back. I also sensed that there is more for me and Wayne in the future... with ST projects and long-term goals in mind. The future is unknown, but we're open. Lord, keep our hearts available and unwavering!

P.S. Sorry I haven't gotten around to putting our pictures online yet - some of you have asked about it. There's +700 digital pics to sort through, so it'll take some time. Stay tuned!

Posted by Ruth at 10/16/2004