As God's work-in progress, I'm feeling frustrated with the various gifts God has given me. Feeling a bit raw and knowing I need to smooth out some areas. Never before have I seen the lion in me come out so strongly and so forcefully, and its a real struggle to be patient, let things go, and leave things to God (rather than in my own hands). This frustrates me, because the stronger-willed I become and stronger opinions I build, the more narrow-minded I become. And where does grace fit in? Man am I a mess. Blech. Thank goodness it's God molding me, and not me sticking it out own my own. My prayer has always been to have more faith (I'm such a skeptic and I can't see past my own nose) and to be able to sit back and see what God's doing around me first and foremost, before I even think about diving in. I went forward 5 steps, and got pushed back 3. So frustrating. And I have so many hot buttons, and the same individuals keep ignorantly pressing them OVER and OVER and OVER....
On the other hand, I'm excited about WCC. A little nervous too. It's been awhile since I've been to WCC (has it been three years?) and I'm needing some time to prepare my heart for this conference. I know I'll be challenged, and I want to be able to meet those challenges and not cower from what God is asking of me. I'm eager for God to work these "kinks" in me, while He's bringing Wayne and myself together as one heart for His ministry.
Posted by Ruth at 2/13/2003
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