Ruth's Ramblings

A careful example

I'm starting to realize that I need to be more cautious about what I say (or don't say) about my relationship with Wayne, my marriage experience, and everything related to that. Because I see the potential of perpetuating stereotypes that our single friends already have of what their future spouse would be like, what marriage should look like, and the like. It may be shocking for them to know that we live in the real world (no, it's not supposed to be exactly like a fairy tale) and everything is definately NOT perfect and glamorous. We fight. Cry. Laugh. Tease. Pout. And in the beginning of things, sometimes or not we might reminisce and even [gasp!] miss the single life we once had. The transition from leaving 24 years of singleness and your former identity behind is daunting and confusing (my biggest fear entering marriage was losing my own identity). But, rest assured, it's all very normal, and the enormous benefits of sharing a lifetime with someone who is intricately weaved into your very being and soul is overwelming and filled with insurmountable joy. I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. I've been told that it is sometime during the second year of marriage where you start to feel more settled with your new identity (aka: finding yourself within your marriage and making your marriage your own) and your new life. I think I'm feeling it - not so confused and conflicted anymore (which, btw, are also normal feelings for any beginning of a marriage). And again, it literally is just a tangible taste of what God's love (and the grace that abounds within that love) is like on this earth. My marriage experience has helped me to receive God's love more freely and without fear or restraint.

Posted by Ruth at 9/30/2003