Ruth's Ramblings

Off the ground running

The new semester has finally started and MAND 402 has taken off in a flurry. It's the first evening of class and already we have homework and a quiz tommorrow. [insert groan here]

This season will be an extremely full one for me. I've been asked to participate and commit to various things last month, and I've agreed to many of them until I realized that to do all these things would make my February through July pretty busy, and specifically March through May as hectic. I hate going back on my word, so instead of flaking out on things, I'll do my very best on them and keep it at that. So I'm acknowledging that I've hit my limit - I can't do anymore than what I'm already juggling, so if I'm approached for anything else, I will have to decline. Sorry.

I also had a sudden realization lately. Often times I when I meet people, they don't know how to respond when I tell them I'm not employed (and not actively seeking employment either). Being a "housewife" or "homemaker" or whatever you call it is strange when you don't have kids. I get alot incredulous looks and questions like, "Then... what do you do with your time?!" as if life is absolutely unthinkable outside of work.

I do my best to give these people grace - if they define themselves (and everyone else) based on what they do, how much money you make, blah blah blah - who can blame them? That's how the world teaches us to define ourselves. Of course, that's not how God defines us and where our real value/worth comes from. He sees us for who we are, not on what we do.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks - that I am no different than these people. I define myself based on my own achievements as well. Perhaps not in the workforce, but in ministry. When things fail, I feel like a failure. For several YEARS I have been disatisfied with where God has placed me; community, ministry, everything. I have whined, complained, fought, pouted.

I often forget that God is holding these things in His hands, He is the Master Orchestrator. I often yearn to be in ministry in other places and my spirit is restless and unsatisfied with where I'm at. And then it dawned on me a week ago that perhaps my sphere of influences is EXACTLY where I ought to be, right here, where I have always been. My ministry is here where I'm at, THIS is where God has placed me.

And the next question posed at me is this: What are you going to do about it - sit and continue whining, or get your focus straight and be obedient with what God has given you?

[/whine]

Posted by Ruth at 1/31/2006