Wrestling With Myself
Recently I've realized the unique position I've been placed in. People around me have told me about it for almost 3 years, but I've always brushed it aside and not taken it as seriously as I probably should have. A recent sermon encouraged the congregation to stop being "whining Christians" (I, unfortunately, am in that category), and start taking advantage of where we're at. A carpe diem, like Esther, who was divinely placed in a situation that she alone had influence over.
On the other hand, what happens if you didn't want to be placed in such a position? Whether divine or not, my heart isn't in it at all. Just the opposite, actually. If I was divinely placed here (which I have to agree, there is a purpose to everything), what is the divine intention? According to Experiencing God, God is at work around me (do I believe it? do I see it?), and He invites me to join with Him in that work. Is being in this unique position a sign that He is inviting me to "join in"? But if He is indeed inviting me to participate and labor for Him, ought not He equipt me properly for the work (as Experiencing God also says) as well?
I certainly don't feel equipt at all for the supposed "task" at hand. But then again, I am also a feeling type person - my motivations and resources come from my heart, not my head. If my heart is empty, there's nothing I can give. It would just be dry-heaving on my part, and that's not pretty.
After venting and hashing out it out with Wayne, I came to this conclusion: If it is my heart that hinders me, then why not ask God to change it? If it is His will for me to do something about this, then do something about my heart first. With that divine request, I can rest easy and trust Him more wholly.
Posted by Ruth at 3/24/2006
1 Comments
What a good conclusion for all of us. In the light of his word, things fall into the proper place. Feelings are something we women have to deal with in a way I think perhaps men do not.
Post a Comment
« Home