Ruth's Ramblings

Beauty mags for houses

It's been awhile since I picked up one of those beauty magazines... in junior high I poured over Sassy and later got into Seventeen, Mlle and others. After college, I dropped all the mags because they were making me feel ugly and they almost made me believe that my self-worth was really only skin deep.... everytime I read one of those magazines or looked at all the pictures (and products that they endorsed) it was a confirmation that I didn't measure up to the world's standards of beauty and worth. So I dropped it because I didn't want to feel that way about myself.

NOW, I realize I took up something seemingly different but very very similar. I started picking up magazines like BHG and others that create this incredibly EXPENSIVE elaborate ideal of what a real nice house would look like (decorating pictures, elaborate designs etc.) Watching home decorating shows contributed to this growing ideal of my new standard of living, and my growing disgust and shame for my own home. When I realized my disgust with what I had, something snapped. It was almost like back when I was in college and all of a sudden I realized my self-loathing. How did I get here? How did my standards transform into where the world tells me I'm nothing until I have this ideal/status and all these things?

I'm starting to throw away my BHG magazines. I'm not watching HGTV as much anymore. When I'm at the grocery store, I'm not picking up the magazines at the checkout anymore. I can't even let my eyes wander over their glossy covers because of my weakness. I can only take limited amounts (after all, I still have ideas to make my house a better home) but I don't need enough to make me (and my home & lifestyle) feel shabby and pathetic. Time to take back my definition of "comfort" and "success" and stop comparing with the Jones. Time to stop pining for the world's ideal. God provided us with what we have, and there's no real need to change a thing. Time to love what I already have and all the incredible blessings God has given me no matter what others say.

Posted by Ruth at 4/08/2004